Top 10 WoW Jokes

10. A Tauren warrior, a Blood Elf priest and a Forsaken warlock are captured by the Alliance during a raid. All are sentenced to the “march of death.” They are taken to Tanaris, striped down to a lion cloth and told that they must make their way across the desert to Gadgetzan. If they die, so be it, if they lived, the ordeal of the trek would be their punishment. As a last request, each is given a choice of one food item to carry.
“I’ll take a watermelon” says the Tauren, “I can drink it’s juices and then eat it to sustain me through the journey.”
“I’ll take a coconut,” scoffs the Blood Elf, “It’s lighter than a watermelon and will sustain me just the same.”
The Forsaken looks for a moment at the other two and then turns to the guards and says: “Can I have just a fork?”

9. How do you make a dead gnome float? Take one dead gnome and two scoops of ice cream...

8. How many Gnomes does it take to paint your wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

7. An alliance army is marching across the barrens to raid Orgrimmar when a Shaman comes running up and makes a rude gesture at the General. The General points to two of his soldiers and orders them to kill the Shaman. The Shaman runs away round a mountain and the soldiers follow. After a few minutes the Shaman comes back with no sign of the Alliance soldiers. He insults the General who promptly sends ten officers to kill the Shaman. The Shaman runs round the hill and returns again. The General getting very annoyed orders forty men to kill the shaman. They all chase him round the hill and for ten minutes nothing happens. Then one badly wounded soldier comes back limping and says "Sir, it was a trap! There's two of them!"

6. What's the difference between a Gnome and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

5. An elf, human and dwarf walk into a bar, and all order a beer. Suddenly the elf sees there's a fly in his beer, so he pushes it away in disgust and leaves the bar. Then the human also notices a fly in his beer, so he picks it out and drinks the beer. Then the dwarf sees a fly in his beer. He picks it up, holds it over his glass and yells: 'Spit it all out, ya lil bastard!'

4. How many druids does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but he has to wait 30 mins for the cooldown to end.

3. A father and his son from westfall are visiting Stormwind for their first time. They see the sights, and eventually stumble upon the Deeprun Tram. Puzzled by what this contraption is, they watch as a fat ugly old wench gets on the tram and sits down. The tram whisks her away off down the tunnel. The pair stand talking for a few minutes when the tram arrives back. A beautiful, semi clad Night Elf steps from the tram and walks off into Stormwind. The pair look at each other amazed, before the father says: "Son....fetch your mother!".

2. A dwarf goes into a bar in Stormwind and orders four beers. He starts drinking them, one sip each at a time, and after about a half hour he's finished all four, pays, and leaves.
The next day he returns, doing the same thing. The bartender looks at him funny, but pours the four drinks and serves them. He drinks them the same way, until he finishes all four, pays, and leaves again.
The third day, when the dwarf returns, the barkeep can't take it anymore. "If you drink the beers one at a time, they'll all be cold and won't get flat at the end. Why do you want all four at the same time?"
The dwarf explains: I have a brother in Ironforge, one in Booty Bay, and one who lives on Theramore Isle. We can't get together as much as we want, so at the same time each day we all go to a bar and order a round. We drink 'em all and pretend we're all at a bar together".
The barkeeper nods and serves four beers. Nobody else disturbs the dwarf while he finishes off the four beers.
The next day the dwarf comes into the bar, but only orders three beers. Silence falls. Nobody at the bar can look the poor dwarf in the eye. Finally, the barkeeper walks over to try to console him. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you want to talk about it? tell us what happened to your fourth brother".
The dwarf looks confused for a moment, then bursts out laughing.
"It's not what you think!!! I just quit drinking today!"

1. A mighty Orc warrior walks into a tavern to order a drink, and he notices standing on the keys of a nearby piano was a Gnome. A very short Gnome, short for even for one of his kind. And immediately the Gnome starts running up and down the piano keys, dancing, cartwheeling and somersaulting, flawlessly landing on the correct keys time and time again. The music he produced was incredible. This little gnome was just brilliant!
So astonished, the orc walked up to the bartender and asked, "that little gnome is amazing, where did you get him?"
He looked at the Orc and smiled. "Oh I was given this fancy bottle as payment by one of my customers a while back. Upon polishing it, this genie popped out and offered me a single wish. I've had that little guy ever since. Makes me a fortune."
Very curious now the orc asked if he still has this magic bottle, and is excited when the bartender pulls it out from under the table and offers it to him. "Knock yourself out."
Eagerly he accepts the bottle and starts rubbing it, and just as the bartender had claimed, a genie popped out. The magical being stared at the orc and announced, "you have one wish! Make it now!"
Thinking for a few moments, he decided not to be too greedy and just ask for something he had needed for a while. "Okay, Genie. I wish for a nice new axe!"
"Granted!" he said, clapping his hands the vanishing in a puff of smoke. After the smoke cleared the orc found himself holding a nice new pair of slacks.
Angry now, he glared at the bartender. "What's going on?! I didn't ask for nice new slacks, I asked for a nice new axe!"
He smiled back before replying. "You think I asked for a ten inch pianist?"


Camp Taurajo, just a little south of Barrens chat